Don’t worry… it’s only 6 questions and it’s impossible to fail.
Keep track of your points as you go.
I feel confident of my adoption as God’s son/ daughter and rarely, if ever, question His acceptance of me.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
2. I am honest with myself (and a few significant others) about the feelings, beliefs, doubts, pains, and hurts beneath the surface of my life.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
3. I don’t need approval from others to feel good about myself.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
4. Others would easily describe me as approachable, gentle, open, and transparent.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
5. I am regularly able to say “no” to requests and opportunities than risk overextending myself.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
6. When I confront someone who has hurt or wronged me, I speak more in the first person (“I” and “me” about how I am feeling rather than speak in blaming tones (“you” or “they”) about what was done.
This statement is…
NOT TRUE (1 point)
SOMETIMES TRUE (2 points)
MOSTLY TRUE (3 points)
VERY TRUE (4 points)
YEAH!!! Look at you- you did it!
6-12 points = EMOTIONAL INFANT
13-18 points = EMOTIONAL CHILD
19-24 points = EMOTIONAL ADULT
EMOTIONAL INFANT = I look for other people to take care of me more than I look to care for them. I often have difficulty in describing and experiencing my feelings in healthy ways and rarely enter the emotional world of others. I am consistently driven by a need for instant gratification, often using others as objects to meet my needs, and am unaware of how my behavior is effecting/ hurting them. People sometimes perceive me as inconsiderate, insensitive, and self-centered.
EMOTIONAL CHILD = When life is going my way and I am receiving the things I want and need, I am content and seem emotionally well-adjusted. However, as soon as disappointment, stress, tragedy, or anger enter the picture, I quickly unravel inside. I interpret disagreements as a personal offense and am easily hurt by others. When I don’t get my way, I often complain, throw an emotional tantrum, withdraw, manipulate, drag my feet, become sarcastic, or take revenge. I have difficulty calmly discussing with others what I want and expect from them in a mature loving way.
EMOTIONAL ADULT = I can respect and love others without having to change them or becoming critical and judgmental. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect in meeting my relational needs, whether it be my spouse, parents, friends, boss, or pastor. I love and appreciate people for who they are as whole individuals, the good, the bad, and not for what they can give me or how they behave. I take responsibility for my own thoughts, feelings, goals, and actions. When under stress, I don’t fall into a victim mentality or a blame game. I can state my own beliefs and values to those who disagree with me — without becoming adversarial. I am able to accurately self-assess my limits, strengths, and weaknesses and feely discuss them with others. Deeply in tune with my own emotions and feelings, I can move into the emotional worlds of others, meeting them at the place of their feelings, needs, and concerns. I am deeply convinced that I am absolutely loved by Christ, that I have nothing to prove.
This is just a snapshot of where you are at currently with your emotions. There is no shame attached to these “point” totals. Celebrate what is and ask yourself where you can grow. You are not alone! To learn more about becoming emotionally healthy and upgrading you're thinking check out these opportunities…
Taken from Pete Scazzero with Warren Bird, The Emotionally Healthy Church (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2003). For the full quiz CLICK HERE
